An excerpt from the book WORKING TOGETHER ON COLLABORATION…
Humility—Seeing Beyond Yourself
To put this another way, ask yourself if you can see beyond your selfishness. The greater part of a human being’s life is determining in great detail what we believe in, what we think, and what we choose to do. It’s part of the process of defining who we are throughout our entire lives. But in a collaboration, you are far more likely to succeed by mastering the art of learning what others think and feel.
The actual technique is fairly easy. It requires that you act with humility by avoiding strong expressions of your own position while asking yourself, “How do others feel and think, and why?”
An effective approach would be to:
- Ask their opinion
- Ask why they feel that way
- Ask relevant questions
- Take time to think things through—perhaps a day or more
- Consider the pros and cons of their views as you see them
- Consider how your views differ from theirs
- Come back together and talk about your thoughts on their views and ask for their response
The very fact that you give such careful consideration to their views will mean others will know that you are listening carefully and taking their thoughts seriously. The more time you spend considering other people’s views, the better things will go for you in a collaboration.
Patience
If you are a public health worker, it is likely you understand the meaning of patience. It often appears that little of substance happens quickly in public health unless it is something bad, such as a disaster or a disease outbreak. Other than responding to emergency situations or following the daily routines of clinics and inspections, we tend to be engaged in activities that are long range and time consuming. We don’t improve a community’s health status in a day, nor do collaborative activities tend to move quickly!
Collaborations tend to involve people who are diverse in profession, personality, and professional relationships. It takes time for people to consider ideas in sufficient detail to consider changing their opinion—days, weeks, and sometimes months. It takes time for people to learn to work together in a group, particularly if they are new to the process. It takes time for organizations to shift directions—sometimes years. And it takes time for us to change our thinking and develop new behaviors.
Exhibiting patience while interacting with others and while working to reach goals that may be complex is an attribute that brings significant dividends to collaborative efforts. “Keeping one’s cool” is another prerequisite for success. It buys time to discuss and resolve points of difference. It helps to establish a group culture focused on respectful exchange of ideas and a resolve to find ways to make things work rather than to fail.
