Lessons from the book
Working Together On Collaboration
Applied to Everyday Life
By David Kettlewell
Over the last two years, I worked with my co-authors Dr. Bill Keck and Ardith Keck on Working Together On Collaboration, a book on how to collaborate effectively in a professional setting, but many of the ideas in the book are very helpful in everyday life, so here goes…
TAKE THE TIME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
As we get older, it seems like conversations resemble people taking turns playing a record; one puts on their record and it plays to the end of their song, then the other person puts on their record. There’s not any real discussion, or give and take, because nobody’s listening…both are just waiting for their turn to talk.
This is not such a good thing. It creates bad habits in “talkers” and upsets the listener.
We suggest you take the time to savor and consider very carefully what others say. Think about what they’ve said, and see if you have any questions about what they are communicating. It’s a great compliment when people ask you questions about what you’re saying, so do so often with others when they share their thoughts with you.
BE SLOW TO TAKE OFFENSE
Sometimes people are like a spring and they go off “boiiiinnnnngggg” easily. When you feel yourself getting upset, as yourself, “What do I have to learn from this situation?” Typically, people get angry when the situation at hand exceeds their experiences in managing it…so look at it as a chance to learn something.
TAKE MORE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THINGS…AND TAKE TIME TO RESPOND
When someone asks you a question relating to something they want you to do, or support, you do not have to answer right then. Tell them you’ll think about it.
Then do.
You have the option of making a decision to NOT make a decision for awhile, and if people really seem invested in getting a “yes” from you, taking time honors their hopes and desires for your support.
TAKE THE TIME TO CLARIFY EXPECTATIONS…ON BOTH SIDES
When you are discussing an agreement that requires actions of some type from both of you, take the time to clearly define what it is each of you are to do.
Years ago, a friend of mine said that most problems dealt with the parties having a lack of shared expectation.
I think they’re right.
SHOW YOUR ENTHUSIASM FOR OTHERS
If you like what others are saying, or how they look…tell them. Show your enthusiasm openly because it makes others feel good. Enthusiasm works.
HAVE A PLAN TO GET OUT
In any situation, be clear about under what circumstances you will depart, and when that situation arises…do what you planned and get out gracefully.
SET ASIDE YOUR PERSONAL DESIRES AS BEST YOU CAN
The world is a lot bigger than your personal perspectives and desires, and the more you can see that and operate from that premise, the better.
Others are just about as invested in their views as you are. Maybe if you give a bit, they will too, and a bit more compromise on both sides and voila…you’ve got something.
NOTE: For those looking for more information on how to collaborate with others effectively, the book WORKING TOGETHER…ON COLLABORATION by Bill Keck, David Kettlewell, and Ardith Keck is available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon, see LINK https://www.amazon.com/Working-Together-Collaboration-William-Keck/dp/1545531846/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1496401859&sr=1-1&keywords=working+together+on+collaboration+keck+kettlewell+keck.
You may also enjoy the Youtube Channel WORKING TOGETHER ON COLLABORATION, and the Facebook Group WORKING TOGETHER ON COLLABORATION.
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